Dude, we are so totally not in California anymore

Yesterday.

Today.

King to Hugo: Shut UP!

The big news out of Spain this week is that King Juan Carlos told Hugo Chavez to shut up -- actually, his exact words were "Why don't you shut up?" -- during an Ibero-American summit meeting in Santiago, Chile. Chavez was in mid-tirade, calling José María Aznar, Spain's conservative former prime minister, a fascist when the King's outburst occurred. Aznar, admittedly pretty facha, wasn't actually a fascist, and in the course of the skirmish, José Luís Rodriguez Zapatero, Spain's current Socialist prime minister, jumped to Aznar's defense, saying that Aznar was democratically elected by the people of Spain. The video of the King, who as you'll notice, uses the "tú" form to address Chavez, which as any Spanish 1 student will tell you is just not polite, and the ensuing rumble, is all over the Spanish language press. In addition, Aznar subsequently telephoned Rodríguez Zapatero for the first time since the latter trumped the former in the 2004 elections to thank his rival for defending him, prompting this video of puppets making out. Spain loves its guiñoles.

Chavez later took the time to strike back at the King playground-style by saying "¿Por qué no te callas tú, Rey?" ("Why don't you shut up, King?"). Awwww, snap!

"We brought casseroles"

I recently saw the indie flick Lars and the Real Girl, presumably playing at a theater near you. By paying careful attention to license plates and a map posted on the protagonists' cubicle, I was able to discern that the movie is set in a small town in Wisconsin, although the Internet Movie Database informs me that it was actually shot in Ontario. No matter. I was pleased to see a movie portraying Wisconsinites (and rural Wisconsinites at that) as exceedingly thoughtful, considerate people, and not just buffoons with the silly-Midwestern-accented, hideous-sweater-wearing, mayonnaise-eating rap they are often given in the media. Although these characteristics do find their way into the movie, they are counteracted by the overarching portrayal of the townspeople, who -- and humor me as I toss a little medieval Spanish literature your way -- , like Fuenteovejuna in Lope de Vega's play of the same name, become a single, pivotal voice as the film progresses.

I'm not from this rural Wisconsin, but I've spent my share of time among these folks -- hell, I'm related to a few of them -- and I think in general they get a bad rap on big and small screens: Wisconsin stands for bored, bong-hitting teenagers in "That '70s Show;" for eccentric farmers who drive tractors instead of cars in "The Straight Story;" for a state that purports Rodney Dangerfield as a pot-bellied high diver in "Back to School." Lars and the Real Girl may not hit any greater truths than any of these shows or movies, but at least rural Wisconsin is not held up to a lower standard of ridicule than any other Midwestern state in the film.

But, it is true, casseroles are ubiquitous in Wisconsin. (Many involve jello.)

Open and shut

First it took a month to get a door, then it took 2 months to get the funding for a/v equipment, then coyotes moved in across the street, and now I've been informed that I need to apply for funding for the a/v equipment -- which is sitting in boxes on my office floor -- retroactively, by sending the funding committee seven copies of the application forms. But -- and this is perhaps paramount -- I shouldn't tell the funding committee that I already have the a/v equipment sitting in boxes on my office floor.

Why? Because I have to apply for the funding to pay for the a/v equipment I already have. Duh.