Rip Van Winkle at the Checkout Counter
Apparently I've been living in Grover's Corners for the last seven years, as evidenced by my last two visits to the major chain grocery stores in Amherst: Super Stop 'n' Shop1 and The Big Y.2 While I was quietly shopping for produce and toilet paper at the Berkeley Bowl, Monterey Market and Trader Joe's, grocery stores were feeding like gremlins, tripling in size and remaking themselves into giant Everything Stores, where the shelves are stocked with the collective consumer goods of fifteen other stores, but it's still impossible to read the aisle headings and know what lies within (for example: Tell me what "Ethnic Food" means to you).
In my explorations of the Super Stop 'n' Shop, I discovered half an aisle devoted to imported Irish food: Irish candy bars, Irish tea, Irish crackers. Both the S S'n'S and the Big Y have embedded bookstores (or what passes for bookstores), pharmacies, "Natural" food stores, and restaurants within their vast dominions. The Big Y has two enormous aisles devoted to pets -- pet beds, pet food, pet toys, pet cable knit sweaters -- and another to automotive needs. Yet given the task of finding a solitary Chip Clip with which to secure my corn flakes, I came up short: instead I found a bag of 32 clothespins in the Laundry Needs aisle. The Chip Clips must have been hiding between the issues of "Poker" magazine (sample article: "5 Ways to Work on Anger Management") and the plastic container shaped like a popcorn bag that, I'm assuming, is every surround-sound home theater aficionado's must-have accoutrement for Fall.
I'm not bitter, I'm just looking for where they sell the food.
1 The Super Stop 'n' Shop never fails to make me think of this dumb inside joke we had in college that it should be called "Stop 'n' Shop 'n' Stop again" so people don't just stay there forever shopping. We thought that was hilarious at the time. I still think it's pretty hilarious.
2 Why?
In my explorations of the Super Stop 'n' Shop, I discovered half an aisle devoted to imported Irish food: Irish candy bars, Irish tea, Irish crackers. Both the S S'n'S and the Big Y have embedded bookstores (or what passes for bookstores), pharmacies, "Natural" food stores, and restaurants within their vast dominions. The Big Y has two enormous aisles devoted to pets -- pet beds, pet food, pet toys, pet cable knit sweaters -- and another to automotive needs. Yet given the task of finding a solitary Chip Clip with which to secure my corn flakes, I came up short: instead I found a bag of 32 clothespins in the Laundry Needs aisle. The Chip Clips must have been hiding between the issues of "Poker" magazine (sample article: "5 Ways to Work on Anger Management") and the plastic container shaped like a popcorn bag that, I'm assuming, is every surround-sound home theater aficionado's must-have accoutrement for Fall.I'm not bitter, I'm just looking for where they sell the food.
1 The Super Stop 'n' Shop never fails to make me think of this dumb inside joke we had in college that it should be called "Stop 'n' Shop 'n' Stop again" so people don't just stay there forever shopping. We thought that was hilarious at the time. I still think it's pretty hilarious.
2 Why?
posted by SJB at 2:07 PM
8 Comments:
3 comments:
A) Clearly SKBK or DL004D never took you to a Mega Wegs (that's a Wegman's for the uninitiated).
2) I miss the Super Stop-n-Shop (where I discovered in college that "Open 24 hours a day" really meant 24 hours a day until midnight on Saturday night, when the store would close for 6 hours. Big Y was always the place to get cheap, good liquor.
Lastly: In college we called "Stop-n-Shop" "Stop-n-Slop" for no good reason other than we thought it was funny (there was never any slop in the aisles that I know of). But I like what you call it better--too bad we weren't as clever. :)
IV) I'm certain that SKBK took her to Wegman's! It was probably the highlight of her visit!
5) I love the grocery posts. We don't have a Chip Clip aisle here either.
You both may recall that I have an affinity both for grocery stores and seeing my name in print.
Yes, SKBK (back when she was SKB) took me to a Wegman's, but I don't remember a freakin' bookstore, or an automotive aisle!
I'm pretty sure SJB's only trips to Weggies were before the advent of Mega Wegs. Probably I took her to Baby Wegmans (or Ghetto Wegs, as wealthy, white, UR students who'd never been anywhere called it).
A) I love that Marnie makes lists in letters and numbers and
2) I'm so glad I came back to BlogLand. Otherwise I might have missed my name in print. :)
SKBK--why hadn't you been in Blogland all this time? Can we please discuss this here on SJB's blog? And,
D) So glad you noticed the list--I had to point it out to dl004d, who then used roman numerals and arabic numerals for his list (copy cat).
How funny, this list-making thing was a joke with another friend of mine, who always end lists with "And also, whatever."
Yes, SKBK, you say you've returned to Blogland, yet I see no new posts. Do explain.
A. In West Virginia we have Kroger's, which comes in a ghetto variety, a middle-of-the-road variety, and our current favorite: the "fancy Kroger's". They have sushi!
2. Kroger's is the top employer in WV
III. Kroger's is in fact based in Ohio
δ. I'm running out of numbering schemes
ה. And also, whatever? (imagine that my thumbs and forefingers are creating the letter W)
I'm just impressed that you were able to some up with Greek letters to complete your list.
I've been to a Krogers...
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