Things I Can Do in Madison...

... that I can't do in Berkeley:

• Laundry! Without leaving the house, and as often as I want!
• Watch cable, both the vapid (endless E! celebrity year-in-reviews) and the witty (The Daily Show!).
  
• Celebrate the recent success of my 2-year-old nephew in "putting a poopy in the potty!"
• Theoretically: play in the snow. Actually: hope it drops below 32 degrees for Xmas because I can suffer through holiday rain in California, thank you very much.
• Drive a 2003 Volkswagon Passat! (ahem, theoretically...Dad...)
• Trade in my laptop and uncalloused hands to tromp off through a farm and saw down a tree (long time watcher, first time sawer) to a chorus of "timber!" Gratifying? You betcha!
• And, of course, say things like "pop," "you betcha" and "ya, sure, hey" without fear of ridicule. Instead, I get ridiculed for using "fortuitous" wrong or mentioning that in California it sometimes hits 70s degrees in December. Can't win.